just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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