Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
