Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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