My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
