you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
