bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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