Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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