The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have tasted many bathrooms
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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