Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
