Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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