There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
