So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize