How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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