**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
