and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
