32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize