I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
