sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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