Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
