i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am puke
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
