He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
