Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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