I want to make a zoo with you.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize