4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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