I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
