When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
