uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize