New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
