I must be too annoying 4 u.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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