first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's not a walk of shame if you run
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
