Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
