How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize