im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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