haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
