I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize