thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
