One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
