Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
