I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
