Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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