the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
