Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
