Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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