i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
