marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The Olympian is in my bed
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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