I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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