Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
