They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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