Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
