too bad you live with your parents still
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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