You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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