Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
