i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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