it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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