im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
