New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
