you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i think my cat just said my name.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
