he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
