doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
