i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
