Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize