The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
