Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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